Ponderings

I like that word pondering. It makes me feel like I'm really thinking hard, and using my big ole head for something. :) I have been pondering a few things lately and would love imput, or not whatever.
~Why is it that I feel so useless lately? Not like useles at my job, not useless as a person I can still do things, but lately I've felt useless as a Christian, like I should be doing more. Going to a bible study, teaching children's church, something to feel more use full :). I go to church(which I love my new church by the way) and I usually get something out of the sermon's and or worship and S and I read every night a chapter(we are reading through the Bible in a year), but I'm just feeling like there's got to be more I can be doing. Exspecially after this past weekened helping out at kids camp, I have forgotten how much i LOVE working with kids, and miss it. TERRIBLY! I miss seeing the kids faces glow, and light up, and grow and search for answers. I miss being a part of a study where I get to discuss and grow myself. S and I are reading through the 5 love languages, and that's been really good and I have learned a lot through that. Hopefully,maybe I can continue that growth somehow, someway.

~Also, why do I feel so happy lately? Yeah I might be feelign useless, but I'm loving everything in my life. Okay, so the question isn't why am I so happy I know the answer to that one, it's obvious that God has extremely blessed me this year and exspecially the past 6 months ;) <3, but why did God decide to bless me? Why me? Last year I was No where near where I should have been following Christ, I was lost lost lost. Still figuring out exactly what I thought I wanted in life and taking an extremley wrong path. I know God has compassion on His children and loves us no matter what, and I'm not sayign I'm not thankful, I just wonder why me? I'm so glad He did and has put a whole new direction and love and spirit in me to be back to the path I was on 5 years ago and then help the growth. I feel as if I have grown so so much in the past 8 months and am so happy and joyful and blessed!

Just a couple of ponderings ;)